My Approach to Therapy
The essence of my approach is to work with you in a warm, supportive, non-judgmental and confidential relationship that can enable you to find your own way towards a more satisfying way of living.
Many people hope that a counsellor will be able to advise them how they can do this.Whilst there is sometimes a place for advice giving in counselling, looking for advice from counsellors often leads to the dilemma of whose advice to follow as different counsellors, if they do offer advice, are highly likely to have different views.
Counselling for me is about being able to work with people in a way that enables them to become their own trusted advisor for their problems, become the person they want to be and decide for themselves how they want to live.
'We cannot teach people anything, we can only help them discover it in themselves' Galileo Galilei
As a counsellor I do not presume that I should know what is best for people and how they should live and this is not the expertise I offer.
I believe that your experience in counselling can enable you (even though you may not feel like it at the moment) to find whatever are the solutions, changes or ways forward that you think are best for you.
If you do decide to work with me, we'll begin by looking at the particular issues that concern you, how they are affecting you and your life and what your hopes are for counselling. I will share my thoughts and responses with you.
I hope you would feel that I understand you really well so that you can feel more comfortable talking about yourself. We can then discuss, think, reflect and explore together in a way that is helpful to you.
From this, different ways of understanding yourself and addressing the issues that concern you are very likely to
emerge and new possibilities can begin to open up for you.
What happens in a counselling session?
The most important thing that should happen in a session is that you feel
really listened to and understood by your counsellor. Without this, you
are unlikely to find your counsellor’s responses helpful.
When you can trust that whatever you say will be listened to with real understanding and respect and accepted without judgement, the way is open for a genuine, empathic exploration of your concerns. The development of new insights and ways of understanding yourself are likely to follow which can become the first steps towards the change in your life that you are seeking.
'Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold.' Leo Tolstoy
What is brought to counselling varies with each individual. You might need to talk about things in the past or what's happening in the present, or perhaps both. We might be exploring how to cope with upsetting or sad feelings or looking at how to change negative thinking.
Even with common problems which affect thousands of people, such as depression and anxiety, there are always differences in how people are affected individually.
Depending on the issues concerned, a few sessions might be sufficient or longer term work might be more helpful.
This will usually become clearer as the work progresses.